New Year’s Resolutions of a One Year Old

Found Emily’s New Year’s Resolution list today:

  1. Up my efforts in smearing banana on the pram. Mum loves how it looks like bird poo and makes people in Safeway judge her.
  2. In 2017 I only went to the hospital once or twice. Increase this to at least once a month. Ideas: Fall off kitchen table on to floor boards (hit head? break arm?) Endless possibilities with new cat inc. cat door injuries. Maybe just an old fashioned trampoline mishap? Start research into ED’s busiest times.
  3. Start childcare. Mum feels guilty about this one so I’ve got to keep the pressure on by hitting her computer whenever she is on it, not falling asleep in the evenings unless she is holding my hand and randomly vomiting whenever she is on a work call.
  4. Trash my sister’s room regularly.
  5. Grow some more teeth so that when I bite dad on the stomach is hurts even more.
  6. Bite dad on the stomach
  7. Lose 10202 socks or shoes
  8. Ruin $2991092 worth of clothes/homewares/carpet/plants
  9. Refuse to speak. That’ll freak her right out.
  10. Become even cuter so I can get away with all of this and still have them wipe my butt 6 times a day.

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